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DECEMBER 2015 •
PPB
• 71
ARE YOU AN OVER-APOLOGIZER? It’s one thing
to be genuinely contrite over a mistake at work or a poorly
spoken word with friends and family, or even for bumping
into strangers in a crowded store during the busiest gift-
returning day of the year. But apologizing for things that don’t
even require an apology can cast you in a negative light.
Lisa B. Marshall, host of “The Public Speaker” podcast,
points out that when you apologize repeatedly at work, even
when it’s a necessary action or request, you may be sending
the signal that you are insecure or even unsure about the
importance of your role in the workplace.
And women, it seems, apologize more than men. A study
in the journal
Psychological Science
examined this phenome-
non and found that women perceived they committed more
offenses than men, though men apologized as much as
women for things they believed they had done wrong.
To take those first steps past being sorry, it’s important to
know why you’re saying it. Are you uncomfortable asserting
authority over someone? Do you feel like meeting your needs
is an imposition to someone else? When you can answer
those questions honestly, and remedy the issue, you can move
toward eliminating the need to apologize.
Proctor & Gamble shampoo brand Pantene turned work-
place-apology syndrome on its head in a clever commercial,
encouraging women to shed the mantle of assumed blame
(which apparently is one of the primary triggers of over-
apologizing) and view themselves as having the right to ask
for what they need to get the job done—and to not be sorry
about it.
Another important step is to take action, say journalists
Claire Shipman and Katty Kay. In their book
The Confidence
Code
, Shipman and Kay say taking action boosts confidence,
which in turn reduces the instinct to apologize. More confi-
dence leads to more action, which leads to more success. And
who among you would ever apologize for hard-earned, well-
deserved success?
DON’T BE SORRY YOU’RE NOT SORRY
THE WATER COOLER
The model follows Snapchat’s original purpose,
which is for users to share their personal stories. With
Naritiv, a creator shares his or her experience with a
brand by posting photos and videos that are strung
together in story form. Naritiv CEO and co-founder
Dan Altmann says the project allows brands to see that
if they can reach and influence potential customers in
the earliest stages of brand awareness, those cus-
tomers will remember the brands when deciding
where to spend their money.